I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
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