haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I can't put those talents on a resume
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
