that's an acceptable place to lick
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
