Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
