Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
