Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
