I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
