I wish i was in the wii world.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
