Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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