I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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