paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
