There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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