my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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