Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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