We got so high we made milksteak
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Randomize
