just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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