im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
