Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
