Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
