Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
