So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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