I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
