the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
