what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
This couple is walking their pig around campus
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
