The maid of honor just puked.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
