I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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