quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
