I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
