I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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