She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I AM VODKA MAN
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Randomize
