I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
