How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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