I puked a lego.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Boobs are out for the taking
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
