pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
