I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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