she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize