how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
