In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
