it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
