Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
