dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
