i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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