sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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