I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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