So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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