just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
