I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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