The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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