There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize