I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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