You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
