i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
