porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
